#what you're doing is actually Cool or Beneficial at all to people like

[snekdood]

Given how toxic this website is and the people on it... And how proud they seem to be about being toxic... Its like. Why should i stay on here? Whats the benefit? Yall constantly have this vibe about you that if you're not part of the Special Good Person Tumblr Circle then you're missing out in spite of it being nearly impossible to get in or stay in such a clique. I dont know why i put so much value on this website outside of it sometimes being usefully educational, but mostly its just drama and discourse ppl are arguing over that doesnt meaningfully do anything in the real world since its discourse about a distant world and reality we dont even live in rn. And the people on here are just absolutely rancid sometimes. Its so obvious plenty of yall demonize therapy, given the way you act. And you act like thats a good thing too, like you're supposedly rebelling bc you make people feel uncomfortable or think you're a dickhead, which i guess is worth it?? Idk. But this websites bad and i think im finally becoming disillusioned with it, bc in spite of people pretending theres some sort of special knowledge you can only find on here, i cant seem to find anything special or unique about it, you're not all somehow more woke than other ppl because you use tumblr, other people are not somehow less progressive bc they dont spend time on tumblr reading niche shit abt shit that hardly effects anyone. Im so tired of ppls superiority complexes and narcissistic attitudes on heres. Its exhausting and none of the ppl described seems to want to be self aware enough to recongize when theyre doing it and stop. I dont know how you're supposed to deal with someone whos so toxic and embraces it and finds some way to rationalize why its okay for them to be toxic, idk, bc of their trauma or whatever. And thats not a fucking excuse. I dont fucking care what you went through its not an excuse. This is just a genuinely miserable ass website with miserable ass people on it.

[star-anise]

Currently getting my socks clean blown off by Rethinking Narcissism, by Dr. Craig Malkin. Which I found, in a roundabout way, from this video on Midsommar, grief, and narcissism.

Tonight I woke up from a nap and accidentally took my morning meds, so I'm going to be up for a few hours because of the meth. In place of sleep, I'll try to roughly sum up some basic ideas proposed by the research the book is based on:

That traits of "narcissism" like entitlement, grandiosity, and feeling special are not inherently toxic. There are times and places they are appropriate and beneficial. If you show up at a hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest, you should not sit and wait to be seen after people with earaches and coughs. (Actually, medical systems are designed to prioritize people with more urgent needs, and you qualify under that system. You are special and are deserving of different treatment than those others, which is why making your needs known, even insisting on it if you're not listened to appropriately the first time, is an extremely good idea. It keeps you from bleeding to death on the floor, and keeps the hospital from getting its pants sued off by your heirs.)

It is more useful to view "narcissism" not as an inherent immutable personality trait, but as a cluster of coping mechanisms. As previously stated, there are times they are exactly the right coping mechanism for the job. However, people we call "narcissists" tend to cling to these ones even when they become detrimental to themselves and others, often because they lack other ways of regulating their emotions and getting their needs met. And that is something they can change, if a person is willing to put in sincere and difficult work. It is not usually fast change; it's a matter of years, not weeks. But a skillbuilding approach turned Borderline Personality Disorder from an immutable curse to a fully treatable (though not quickly treatable) condition, and there's a lot of hope that it can do the same for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Meanwhile, there's an opposite end to the narcissism spectrum, and it is also pathological and destructive to hang out there all the time. It's an aversion, or even a resistance, to expecting yourself or other people to treat your own feelings, thoughts, ideas, needs, or preferences as important. For Greek mythology reasons, its proposed name is Echoism.

Unfortunately, because most of the damage echoism does is, by its very nature, localized to its sufferer and their own personal relationships, its downsides aren't often talked about. In fact, it's often seen as an ideal moral state, a kind of altruism or saintliness everyone should strive for. As a pathological coping mechanism a person is trapped in, though, it's often more a fear-based reflex than a conscious and deliberate attempt to achieve some real and specific good. It's not actually as beneficial as being able to recognize your needs, desires, positive aspects, and areas of competence or excellence, and bring them forward in your relationships with other people and yourself.

To me this has all been a cross between a gut-punch and a cool, sweet drink of water. There have been other ways to describe echoism over the years, but this feels like the most concise and useful one I've seen in ages.

It specifically puts its pin down in the middle of the moral debate a lot of people struggle with—"What right do I have to put myself forward? What hope do I have of being seen and accepted? Isn't it better not to burden anybody else?"—and says that the problem is not feeling in touch with either side of the equation, but specifically, the inability to move from one part of the spectrum to another when it's merited by circumstances.

When I was a child, I thought Echoism was the answer. It was my ideal. I thought it was what would get me the love and acceptance I wanted, and would keep me safe from the pain of rejection or not being understood. I had no idea it would actually, in fact, be the primary cause of alienation and loneliness for the rest of my life.

Now I'm so deeply thankful I couldn't fully achieve it, in practical terms. As hard as I tried to erase myself, there were always things I loved too much to suppress. I still found ways to express and discover myself in the books I read, the stories I wrote, the intellectual work of school and the experience of pursuing hobbies I loved, my ambitions to be helpful even when they demanded I stop being selfless, and the relationships where I felt safe enough to experience love and acceptance even if I didn't think I deserved them.

There's this question I found a while back that echoed in my bones: Who am I allowed to be around you? Because that's what I felt like, as a child. If I wanted to engage with other people and minimize my risk of harm, it was my job to bend into a pretzel and fit the shape they wanted. And thank god, thank god, thank god, I couldn't fully do it. Despite everything, there were parts of me too strong and bright to lop off completely to get my arms and legs inside the carriage. I was able to take care of myself and let them grow in secret until I found social places I could let them out again. Despite myself, I found ways to grow and thrive, well beyond the trauma that said I shouldn't have.

[brayneworms]

prompt: l lawliet + food play + pink

wc. 2.8k. gn!reader, foodplay, virgin!l, handjobs, sliiiight come eating, reader is a wet cat in a cardboard box kinda, safe sane and consensual, no real power dynamics.

L contextualises things in the way he sees the world.

Strings of numbers, statistics, behavioural patterns that he's memorised to a 'T' until he can tell guilt from the aversion of an eye or fury from the remnants of nails pressed into the palm of someone's hand. It's why maybe something like sex or desire is a struggle for him. It's not that he doesn't understand it, it's more like he doesn't see the—the need for it, or whatever. You chalk it up to him being extremely busy and also probably totally asexual and don't think about it.

(Don't think about it much.)

It sort of surprises you that it's you he corners with his questions about. Maybe he's more embarrassed than he lets on—as it is, he looks cool as a cucumber save for the faintest shade of pink across his cheekbones. There's no way he would escape a conversation about it from anyone on the squad without a degree of ragging. Misa would squeal like a pig if L dared to broach the topic with her, you're sure. Matsuda would blush bright red and trip over all his words, and Aizawa would probably stare at him like he'd set his firstborn on fire.

And Light is Light. He probably knows little more than L, for all the airs he puts on.

So it's you he comes to. When it first starts, you think it has something to do with a case or lead he's hunting. Tell me, have you had sex before?

Perched like a frog, licking whipped cream off his finger. You don't know if he's doing to be provocative or not; don't know which is worse, that he's aware of what he's doing or not.

"This isn't exactly proper workplace conversation L."

A flicker of a smile. Cheeky, omniscient. "Feel free to report me to HR, in that case."

You do answer—honestly and concisely, if not with a shade of awkwardness. He's essentially your boss. But L seems so far removed from the worlds of sexuality and desire that it seems harmless, occupational, and eventually it stops feeling embarrassing. Out of nowhere—what is the purpose of restrains in an intimate context? Why do you think some people like to feel as though they have no control in the bedroom? Would you say that visual pornography has given watchers unrealistic expectations of actual intercourse?

One night, the two of you alone in front of a big glowing screen, turning to him and asking. "Why do you ask me this stuff, anyway? Is it for a case?"

"No," he says neutrally. A quick glance from his dark eyes you could almost describe as coy. "I'm just... curious."

"Curious," you echo, deadpan. "You?"

"Does that surprise you?" he murmurs. You almost feel that your honest answer—yes—would be insulting now, so instead you just shrug and mumble something incoherent under your breath. "You're not completely wrong. I thought having a better understanding of things like sex and power dynamics would be beneficial in the long run. Most people have a greater knowledge of it than me, which—puts me at a disadvantage." He says these last words with an air of revulsion, as though the very concept of knowing less than someone sours in his mouth, and you chuckle at his childishness.

"That makes sense." You pause. Wonder if you're reading this all wrong, then barrel ahead anyway. "Wouldn't actually experiencing it for yourself lend a better understanding than anything else, though?"

L's eyebrow raises. His smile has vanished, leaving him bug-eyed and unreadable. "What are you suggesting?"

He's not stupid, and you're not subtle. He knows exactly what you were suggesting. The fact that he's trying to get you to go into more detail rather than firing you on the spot is probably a good sign, and further than you expected to get. You squirm in your seat.

"You know. It's like being told about how something feels rather than knowing," you say awkwardly. "I'm just—can I ask—"

"It only seems fair," L says slowly. "After I've been badgering you with my own questions for so long." His chair spins; he rests his wrists on his rucked-up knees, fingers steepled in front of him. "Please."

Hot-faced, you spin your chair aimlessly. "Okay, well, uh—have you? I mean, before?"

L hesitates before he shakes his head, an almost imperceptible twitch that has his dark hair floating. You swallow the sudden large dry lump in your throat.

"Okay. So. Probably somewhere to start," you mumble.

L seems to consider this. "Would you be willing?"

You don't have the right to be surprised, with all the dancing around the subject, but you are, still. You choke on your spit and fly around to look at him, which is a mistake. His gaze is so dark and intense, and you think he can see right through you before you even open your mouth to answer.

"I'm not—" you stammer, with no idea what you're going to say. "I mean—"

"I had assumed you would be," L goes on calmly, but you catch the slight flicker of his eyes, a ghost of uncertainty that makes your chest squeeze. "If I have read your responses incorrectly, though, feel free to forget I asked. I can guarantee no awkwardness tomorrow."

"It's not that," you blurt. L blinks at you, go on. "It's just... do you have any idea what you're, you know. Into? Where to start?"

L's eyes flicker, the barest furrow knitted between his brows. You can tell he hasn't thought too hard about it. "What would you suggest?" he asks, curling his long fingers over his knees.

You swallow. "Well... anything you like the idea of, I guess. Something familiar, to ease you into it."

L's eyes roll over to his desk, where a perfectly glistening slice of strawberry cake waits for him. Pink sponge and halved red berries, topped with pale pink cream. "Familiar," he echoes. "I may have a suggestion."

-

So you feed L a strawberry just to get started.

Hold it up. It's distinctly awkward; L just stares at it for a moment, the berry dusted with frosting that glistens between your fingers. You tell him, "If you're not comfortable with this, sex is probably going to be—"

He leans forward and plucks the fruit from between your fingers; you feel the barest ghosting of teeth, the sweep of his tongue sharp and curious against the pads of your fingers before he leans back again. You watch the motions of his jaw and throat as he chews and swallows. Pins you with his headlamp stare, wide and dark.

You deconstruct the strawberry cake carefully, removing the berries and setting them to the side. Cast a look over at him. "Take off your shirt?"

L twists the hem of this shirt for a few moments before removing it. It feels so strange to see him devoid of clothing, like a knight removing their armour. Pale ribs, pinched waist. He's not whipcord-thin like you had imagined—there's lean muscle packed under the skin, his stomach flat and somewhat soft. It flexes almost nervously when you look at it. He reclines back on his bed without being told, bracing his weight onto his elbows, legs dangling off the side.

"You sure about all this?" you ask, glancing from the smooth planes of his white skin—shit—to the plate of crumbling pink dessert. "Didn't think you'd be into, you know. All the mess."

"I have a shower," L says reflexively.

You take that as permission to approach with the plate. You place the strawberry halves in a red dotted line, starting at his clavicle, watching him shiver and flex at the cold touch. Down—one at the bottom of his ribs, one above his bellybutton, one at his naval just above the low sling of his jeans. He's started to flush, prettily pink down his chest. It makes you slightly dizzy.

"Okay. So. Okay." You try not to feel so nervous, but it's more like you feel out of place, or time, or space. It feels surreal, basically. Standing between L's legs with your fingers stained pink from fruit and frosting. Him looking up at you like that, all big dark round eyes and slightly parted lips. Damn it. You take a deep, steadying breath. "Okay, so, I'll start now if you're okay. And just say if you don't want—if you want to stop, or if you don't like anything, just say, okay?"

"I understand the basic premises of consent, if that's what you're trying to affirm." The words are all L, but there's an element of breathlessness to them.

"Just making sure we're clear," you mutter. You lean forward and smooth a palm over his collarbones. They're sharp, they jut up to meet your hand like cut diamond, and you hear and see his breath hitch, which is slightly intoxicating. His skin is warmer and softer than you thought it would be. You run your hands over his shoulders and neck, which he squirms away from with a wrinkled nose.

"No neck?" you ask.

He shakes his head. So no neck.

Once you're done exploring this part of his body, you lean forward, close your lips around the strawberry and bite the end of it, sinking your teeth into the flesh. Pink juice runs down your chin; L's eyes follow it, transfixed, as you tilt your head forward and push your mouthful against his lips. They part unquestioningly, and you push the strawberry into his mouth with your tongue. Your lips brush together, tantalising and sweet with sugar. A mimic of a kiss, a palimpsest of intimacy. You don't want to overwhelm him, anyway.

This goes on; your hands over his chest next, the soft pectorals. An experimental brush of your thumb over his left nipple that makes his whole body shudder. He's so sensitive, reacting to every prod and touch and tweak with a jerk and a shiver. Gooseflesh blooms up his skin, pebbling his nipples, and when you tweak the other one gently he lets out a choked sound.

Finding the strawberry nestled under his ribs. Taking it between your teeth and passing it to him. His face gets pinker with each one. Stomach, concave, flexing with every hard breath. A ticklish spot over his belly button. Strawberry, bite, pass. The flex of his jaw as he chews.

Fingers over his waist, indenting the skin as much as you dare. You try not to think of how easily he would bruise. Brushing your touch over his lower abdomen makes his breath catch again. You find the strawberry, hold it between your lips. L cranes his neck, searching this time—he thinks he knows the game, has memorised the steps, found the pattern, the sequence. He doesn't know that the best sex is the unpredictable kind. This time, you press your lips against him and when your tongue pushes the strawberry into his mouth it stays there. His lips part, slack against yours, either in shock or inexperience. You allow yourself the briefest twirl of your tongue against his before pulling back with a wet pop.

L stares at you as you retreat. The strawberries leave pale pink residue on his skin. Pulling back fully reveals the hardness between his legs, pushing up against the dark denim of his jeans. He grunts when your eyes land on it, either out of embarrassment or frustration. You swallow and its like sandpaper.

"Still want me to...?"

"I have not changed my mind," he replies, slightly hoarsely and a beat slower than usual. You shrug, smooth your hands over the tent at his crotch, and he whines. It's the most searing noise you've pulled from him yet, and all from some halfhearted palming over the jeans. It sends a thrill zipping through you, hot and addicting. His arms shake with the weight of holding himself up, neck craning to follow as you sink to your knees between his legs.

You unzip him, pop the button, and he groans slightly at the freedom from the constraints of his clothes. He's fully hard, straining against his dark underwear. You experiment, rubbing at the tip, feeling for the wet spot, and he keens and thrashes, losing his stability and crashing to the mattress. He makes a frustrated noise just after, as though cursing himself for his own lack of control.

"That—" he swallows hard, breathes shakily. "That feels..."

Your hand hovers. "Am I stopping?"

"No, I don't..." He scrambles. L scrambles over his words. "Please, continue."

You stroke him over his underwear for a few concentrated minutes, mostly enjoying the way he twitches and huffs and occasionally makes soft, whiny noises, the way he starts to rut his hips against your hand. No technique, no rhythm, just some sort of baseless desire that you find incredibly hot. There's almost a frustration to it that makes you want to laugh—of course there would be nothing more agonising to someone like L than seeing what he wanted so close to him but being unable to accomplish it himself.

When he starts gritting his teeth, you pull his boxers down to his thighs and he makes a choking, embarrassed sound. When you wrap your fingers around his cock for the first time, finding it velvety-soft and leaking, his eyes roll back and his hips arch into the loose wet tunnel of your hand. "Oh," is all he says. Small and soft like he's surprised. His neck twists and his mouth presses into the starched white sheets. "Oh," he says again as your fist moves slowly, stroking with intent, up and down. He's not overly big, fits nicely in your hand, makes swiping over the head where the pre beads with your thumb nice and convenient. And you love the way he shudders and thrashes when you do it.

"How does that feel?" Your voice is lower than you remember it being. L cracks a bleary eye open; his face is flushed bright pink now, a flush that bleeds all the way down his chest, blending in with the strawberry stains.

"It feels," he starts, before his brow pinches. "I—I am not sure how to—how to describe..."

"It's okay," you tell him. His thighs shake, flexing against the edge of the mattress. When he tips his head back the cords in his pretty throat bulge, so biteable. "You can come whenever."

"I wasn't—oh," he gasps, squirming. "I wasn't aware I n-needed your—permission, oh."

"Yeah, well," you say intelligently, a little struck dumb by the sight before you. "Just making sure we're on the same page."

"A-and what page is that?" he pants, thrusting his hips messily into your hand. He's so fucking sensitive that you swear you can see his eyes growing shiny.

"The one where I help you out, so don't be a brat," you murmur. L laughs breathlessly, trying, you think, to summon some retort. You twist your fist around him and it died, half-formed in his brain, his eyes rolling back and fingers flexing hard in the sheets.

After another minute, he reaches out and grabs your wrist hard enough to bruise. He doesn't say it—can't, maybe. But you know. Your pace speeds up just a touch and he honest to god moans, spilling out of him soft and breathy before he comes, streaking over his stomach in pearly arcs. You watch him flinch at the contact, fingers slipping on your wrist. His chest flexes—in, out, in, out.

You collect a big scoop of pink frosting on your finger and dip it in the come starting to cool between his pecs before pressing it to his lips. L's brow wrinkles, startled—but he opens his lips and lets your fingers pass into the hot cavern of his mouth. Like a cat he licks your finger clean, pointed pink tongue prodding with no technique or flourish, just something steadfast, something stubborn.

You do him the dignity of tucking his softened cock back into his underwear and zipping up his jeans. Unsure how to proceed until L sits up rather abruptly. His hair is even more tousled from his tossing and turning as he reaches for a tissue to wipe himself down.

He looks at you. "I understand it's customary to offer some sort of equivalent exchange in these circumstances." A pause whilst he gathers his breath. "You'll have to forgive me. I'm not quite feeling up to the task."

His tone is normal, if a little shaky. You rock back on your heels. "Did you like it?"

L blinks at you. "My curiosity has been sated," he says, carefully. "Yes, I believe I did enjoy it."

Well, that's a relief if nothing else. The pink remnants of the strawberry cake it on the plate; the shade matches his blush.

[cherryfennec]

So this was originally supposed to have a kickass artwork of the bros using the power- up and stuff but then I got sick and then I realised Im out of time and here we are so uh hieee everyone and welcome to my post-

Happy MAR10 Day! For the occasion, let's go back to the (not discussed in a long time) Power-Up headcanons. This time I'll focus on the Ice Flower (most of the lore under cut like last time)!

This was surprisingly requested by some (3) people. I'm going to be honest, I barely remembered this one at first. I kinda know how it looks and generally what it does, which will have to be enough to base this entire thing on. With that being said, I did some thinking and here's what I've got:

General headcanons;

This one has difficulty surviving outside of it's original environment. If you want to keep a batch in the house your best bet is to use the fridge/freezer, otherwise it looses both it's blue look and the stored energy. See, the Ice Flower originally wasn't (and still technically isn't) it's own flower species. Let me elaborate:

Nowadays the conditions there are not as harsh, however a rather long time ago travelers heading towards places like the Snow Mountain needed to be both be specially trained and very well equipped to even attempt a climb. A heat source was a big must, and it so happens that it often consisted of Fire Flowers. They'd put some in their coats to keep warm, as well as store a few in the backpack just in case they needed to protect themselves from monsters. When setting camp during their journeys these hikers would use the Power-Ups energy to start fires and cook food. After the flowers were depleted of their energy and entered their hibernation stage (I talked about it in my Fire Flower post), they would be simply thrown away like trash. Waiting for them to recharge was often not beneficial, especially in conditions like this, so there was ultimately no point in keeping them. However like I mentioned before, Fire Flowers are very adaptable, which actually wasn't that known at the time. Instead of wilting, these stubborn plants would try gathering energy like the usual, but since it was very cold and direct sunlight was limited, they decided to collect something else. While not all flowers made it, a few managed to amass the eminating frost and turn it into a new kind of energy which proved to be enough for their survival. With time even their petal colour changed to blueish hues. And thus the Fire Flowers in the area became Ice Flowers and over the years started populating the mountains and snowfields.

The Ice Flower is a multiple use Power-Up in theory but more often than not you'll find yourself without a place to freeze it after using one. If it's not placed in a cold environment during it's hibernation it'll either die or, more uncommonly, simply revert back to being a Fire Flower after a long process.

Mario and Luigi specific headcanons;

While the idea of being able to freeze stuff sounded cool it wasn't very fun to learn.

In Marios case imagine: you're good at something, really, REALLY good at something. Okay great, now imagine being told that your knowledge doesn't matter because now you need to do the opposite of what you've learned. Back with the theme of "elements don't mix", Mario absolutely hated how much effort he needed to put into focusing the newfound energy to barely make a tiny projectile. Even before he got the Firebrand he had enough difficulty with it, so it only got worse from there. This was one of the rare times where learning the bare basics instead of mastering a Power-Up was enough for him.

Luigi didn't really mind. The main complications came more from the vague instructions he received during training rather than his own inability. Suprisingly or not the Thunderhand didn't make this one much of a pain either, I guess anomalies attract eachother. While he doesn't consider this Power-Up as a favourite he still finds it pretty fun that he can freeze and walk on water. Did you know, he used to be pretty good at skating in high school. If you didn't he'll make sure to bring it up at a given occasion. Back to ice powers, he definitely outdoes his brother on this one, even if not by much.

There's probably one more thing I should mention. Despite the contrary belief the Ice Flower does NOT increase ones tolerance to cold temperatures. To be frank it might even decrease it by lowering the bodys natural temperature, making the chances of frostbite higher. And so, they learned it the hard way.

In conclusion, this is more of a situational Power-Up. It's neither easy to find or preserve which can be annoying but despite all this it's hard to deny that it's ultimately a useful tool.

Few bonus headcanons!

I don't know how much sense I conveyed through my broken wording and less than average writing skills but it's not that shabby if I say so myself. Just like last time some details might change in the future but for now that's the general idea that I have considering the Ice Flower. Once again thank you to whoever took the time to read this!

[bodydoublegame]

hello! it's amy! if you follow my personal account, you'd already know what this is. body double is a side project that i do for fun inbetween infamous, just for when i need to refresh my brain! i decided to make a blog for it so i don't flood my personal account with this game lol.

This game is a side project that I do when I need inspiration for Infamous. That means development on it will be sloooow. Infamous is my main priority right now!

Body Double is a an interactive story that takes place in a cyberpunk inspired world where top secret operatives of an elusive Cypress Industries have the unique ability to jump bodies.

Agent Sawyer is the best Agent in the business, tasked with protecting Cypress Industries and all of its assets.

Until three weeks ago.

Framed for the president's murder and in a last-ditch effort to save their ass, they switch bodies with our regular, ordinary IT-tech MC...who is now walking in the body of a suspect the entire city is looking for. Stuck in a citywide manhunt, MC is now on the run with a pesky Agent who refuses to tell them where their body is. To make matters worse, Agent Sawyer's subconcious is stuck in their head, speaking to them like a pest MC can't shake off.

Wonderful.

With a help of a host of characters from Sawyer's past and MC's present, MC will have to throw themself in a conspiracy to clear Sawyer's name and get back to normal. Relatively. No pressure.

The usual IF stuff: customize your mc from personality to appearance. Unsurprisingly from me, BODY DOUBLE is a character driven story with a focus on relationship dynamics, angst and drama...but this time with action.

Mold Sawyer in the prologue and be stuck with them in your head for the rest of the story. Are they humorous? Stoic? Vulgar? Emotional? Arrogant? You decide.

Romance characters like Sawyer's ex (messy) or the human-mech hybrid trying to kill you (messy) or your measly IT tech friend who has no idea what the hell is going on but they're a trooper. Or an AI. Your call.

Try to uncover a conspiracy and solve a murder in a cyberpunk setting.

Don't die?

SAWYER [RO][customizable]: the agent accused of murder. The wires get crossed when they switch bodies with you, and somehow you have their subconcious in your head. They refuse to switch back until you help clear their name even though you're in their body, which means people are after you now. Asshole move, really.

ROACH: Sawyer's twin brother and perpetual hermit. As a hacker, he has eyes all over the city. He also misses his sibling, so he's determined to see it through.

AGENT BECK [f or m] [RO]: A cool and intimidating fellow Agent of Cypress Industries...and Sawyer's ex partner. Sawyer dumped them, broke their heart, and since then, ghosted them (as one does.) With that said, Beck is determined to help you. And them. Just make sure to try to ignore the longing looks they send your way. It's not towards you, of course.

CAI [RO] [f, m or nb models] : Cypress AI or CAI is Sawyer's former field partner. Honest, cold and emotionless, you can't believe CAI is actually helping you. It must be going against their every makeup to go against Cypress, but having someone like them on your side is beneficial, at least.

HAWKE [m][RO]: the mech-human hybrid tasked with hunting you down. Well, hunting Sawyer down. Their one mission is to see you (Sawyer) dead, which poses a problem so as long as you're in this body. So there's that.

SOLANA [f][RO]: the elusive club owner...and the last person to see the president alive. You can't tell if Solana is an ally or an enemy, but you do know the one thing that drives her is power. Good to keep an eye on her, anyway.

AXL [nb] [RO]: the wealthy child of the now dead president and new heir of Cypress Industries. They hate your (Sawyer's) guts. They have hired all the best operatives and assassins to take you (Sawyer) down, and will stop and nothing to get their justice. If only you could convince them otherwise...

MAV [f or m] [RO]: your best friend and fellow IT employee. A trooper, who decides to be your sidekick on this weird...journey. No biggie. Make sure they don't die.

As usual, BD is 18+ for adult themes, explicit language, suggestive situations, violence and more! <3

[creature-wizard]

This is probably rude question, feel free to skip it since I'm not the kind to demand personal essays from strangers.

But, why paganism/occult/witchcraft/wicca/spiritual at all? Sure placebos exist and it's cool to honor the earth but...look at that list you made yourself of awful things that come from assuming inner experience has some kind of weight or bearing on the physical world. I guess traditional tribal stuff would be okay if you're in that group, it's more cultural, but I don't know about deliberately trying to create traditions. I feel like that's how you get cults

Source: has seen all the cool people I knew into the above go right wing conspiracist. Also, covid related batshittery.

Hey anon, I don't think your question is rude. In fact, I've grappled with this kind of thing myself when in a bad headspace. Sometimes it's easy to look at all the bad stuff that's been motivated or justified with various forms of spirituality and think that it might be better if we just got rid of it all.

But the thing is, "religion" and "spirituality" encompass many different things, and in some cases it's very beneficial to people's mental health. If we just took it all away, we might be doing significant harm to people. Also, what are we going to fill the resulting void with? Many people have a strong drive to explore and experience spirituality. That's not just going to go away.

And another thing is, eliminating spirituality and religion won't eliminate cults; people will just make cults around different things. The social environment around cryptocurrency is notoriously cultlike; people trust the rich techbros to know what they're talking about when they basically claim that crypto will save the world, even though all evidence suggests otherwise.

It also won't eliminate batshittery. Literally any form of batshittery that can be justified within a spiritual worldview can and will be justified within a "scientific" one. The HAARP conspiracy theory, for example, is a modern "scientific" take on the old conspiracy theory that witches were causing storms with evil demonic magics.

COVID/antivax batshittery is likewise fully capable of thriving in a "scientific" context. You don't have to believe in supernatural forces to believe that there's an evil conspiracy trying to poison us or sabotage our DNA.

Spirituality also doesn't require one to assume their inner experiences have weight or bearing on the external world. Like, it's a big thing in New Age spirituality right now, but New Age is actually kind of the outlier here. While it does creep into neopaganism and other forms of religion to a degree, it's just not the norm.

Basically, this is an extremely complicated problem, and "just don't do religion/spirituality" is one of those oversimplified solutions that just won't solve it. If anything, it's coming from a pretty polarized of the world, which never goes anywhere good. Polarized thinking is a major driving factor in pretty much every noxious movement, so if we catch ourselves thinking in polarized ways, it's a good idea to slow down and ask ourselves if there's maybe something we're missing.

[proxiimitysky]

I've been heavily considering moving my account and starting over. This post will be very long so if you don't wanna read it that's fine (I'll add a tldr at the end)

I started this blog back when i loved sky and just wanted a specific place to talk about it. It took me YEARS to slowly realize that i don't have the same love for it like i used to. Ever since season of moomin was announced i thought of it as an opportunity to just take a break and only play the game if i genuinely want to, and not just for the purpose of getting candles. I wasn't really that excited for the season to begin with probably because i dont know anything about moomin and i know i can just learn about it through the season but ehh idk man. Just my personal opinion i already thought the first quest was super slow and tedious as hell

Also not to mention some big criticism within the community is how expensive things are in sky and i agree. I think they're right when they say iaps are getting more and more expensive (inflation amiright) and they keep locking the cooler items behind the pass. I know the pass (for 1 person) is generally pretty cheap for what you're getting but i just don't think it's fair for people who simply don't want to spend money. Majority of the good stuff this season is behind the pass and i know the purpose of this is to convince players to buy the pass but it's just. Man i would love to enjoy a season and buy cool clothes without having to pay real money for it AGAIN

And before you say "sky is a social game. No one is forcing to buy anything stop complaining", i know no one is forcing me to buy things, but it sure feels like it. I've already made an ENTIRE other blog about this complaint and you can probably go look for it but can you think of anything in sky that's fun without spending money? That doesn't include talking with friends (which BY THE WAY still costs money just to unlock chat if you didn't friend them with a qr like? Why tf do you need to SPEND MONEY just to talk to someone???) almost everything in the game needs money to be enjoyed. You can enjoy the story sure, but you can't express yourself in a way that doesn't require buying SOMETHING

Also why does sky have so many bugs all the time. There is not a single update where something wasn't fucked up in the making. I know sky isn't perfect and I'm nowhere near a game development professional but how do you even do that

Anyways.. i just want a tumblr blog to start over completely and gain an audience that isn't so restricted to one interest. I like art, and that's way more broad than just sky art only because i VERY VERY VERRYYY rarely draw sky art. I for some reason don't find it super enjoyable to draw skykids (unless I'm getting paid for it which is why the majority of my sky art are commissions lmao)

Just judging by the attention my blogs and art received on here, i assumed the algorithm was a lot better than other apps. I felt like maybe doing an oc blog too would be beneficial since its something i actually enjoy and WANT to talk about instead of just. Occasionally mentioning sky just to complain about it lmaoo

If you made it this far thanks for reading!! Also if you're here for the tldr: i don't love sky as much as i used to. This blog is very restricting and i wanna start over with an art acc in general

Btw i may still blog about sky on my new blog (if i do make it) but i would more likely just blog about games i like in general when i feel like it. Only talking about sky is just... Ehhhh..

[megabuild]

I'm rooting for an etho-gem-scott team personally. mainly because i can't see scott and etho willingly teaming but i can see both of them teaming with gem and i think it'd be really really really funny to see scott have to 'yes, go girlboss' and 'women are never wrong' through teeth clenched so tightly he's about to pop a vein as Gem hangs out with her favorite mormon

this is about the only way i can see it happening yeah, scott and etho are likely not going to team together unless forced, and honestly even with gem in the mix it still feels too much but definitely more likely.

i can't decide if this fucks with my original vision or not though because the entire point of scott-etho team to me is that forcing of a mirror up to itself- scott has no ally to wholly commit himself to and take on a role that he perceived as beneficial because etho is too distant to let that form, and etho has no ally to seek a role from because they're both just feeding into each other asking "what do YOU want?" and the answer is neither of them know, so either they have to force themselves to get really cool about a lot of trauma real fast or just crumble completely.

adding gem into that mix complicates things (full disclosure: i am not a gem analyser yet so if anyone smarter wants to add onto this feel free) because i think she doesn't have that same challenge of identity- she's a character with a lot of deep set anxiety but i think she knows who she is, or what she wants to be, her understanding of that is just inherently flawed. eg. i would say the two people she looks up to the most in life series are etho and pearl, but specifically for both of them she's looking up to a fracture of themselves. her adoration of etho almost comes off as false sometimes with the consistent insistence of being an ethogirl but also switching up and committing to whatever the popular view is (bullying him for being washed up and lame, teasing him for being obsessed, etc.), like she's more interested in the surface level concept of what etho is instead of who he actually is. while with pearl her treatment around scarlet pearl, a persona literally formed through intense trauma, isolation and degradation, flattens it down to "you're so cool go girlboss!". again i don't really know enough about gem to say anything about this (not least because a good chunk of this comes from cc actions and saying whatevers popular and will get laughs and clips- no hate to her irt).

so yeah- cgem not only doesn't have the awareness to notice etho and scott's respective masks, or if she does, she isn't interested in challenging or counting them, but she also provides a base point for the two of them to rely on. as you said scott would fall into his usual go girlboss pattern and probably kill himself at the end with little to no character development. etho might manage to get something out of being in an alliance where he's constantly being fawned over (as in, become extremely uncomfortable and be forced to shed all of his masks in an attempt to push the spotlight off himself- in the same way it could cause fun conflict between him and scott as scott repeatedly tries to drag the spotlight towards himself) but more likely he'd just distance himself entirely. absolute net zero gain of an alliance unless an astronomical level of coincidences force them to actually behave like human beings. fun either way

[valacirya]

OH, YOU'RE AN ELU THINGOL STAN?! A THINGOL STAN!! HI HI HI I AM A THINGOL STAN TOO!!! WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT OUR EIFFEL TOWER ELF THO? I THINK HE IS COOL!! I'M THINKING OF POSTING AN APPRECIATION POST ABOUT HIM SOON BUT I GOTTA SEARCH WELL FIRST!

I am! We may be few in number but we are mighty!!

Honestly, what's not to love about Thingol? He married a Maia! His people were so loyal to him! Elrond preferred to claim his descent from him (this is in HoME, The Problem of Ros)! He was friends with the dwarves, they built Menegroth together! He made dad jokes!

Thingol is one of the only characters who actually changes for the better in the Silm; he gets character development! He accepted Beren after he proved himself. He loved Turin like a son. He respected Hurin. He had a mutually beneficial alliance with Haleth. The man stopped being prejudiced (against Men) after he learned better.

Of course he was far from perfect. He was a bit of an asshole and he should have listened to Melian. But we see him change in clear ways, we see him become kinder and more open-minded. And despite this, most fans just make him out to be this cartoonish villain who was mean to the cool Feanorians.

So yeah, I'm 100% a Thingol and Doriath stan. In fact, this ask inspired me to make a post about how almost all his actions were justified and in the interest of his people.

[a-rogue-god]

Show me

Your OCs

:3c

!!!!oh sure i love showing them :]]]

Augustine... auggie... my one and only gold watcher fellow. Effeminate bisexual ass mfer. His weapon of choice is a rapier but hardly uses it. Much prefers standing and taunting humans. Other hobbies include flirting with other gold watchers, sometimes humans too!

Gabriel and his god Rogue.

Gabriel is a lovely old man who is a priest in his world. Genuinely a nice man who is pretty progressive compared to other priests/the clergy in general. He loves reading and gardening and when he's not leading sermons or in his church he has a lovely little garden by his rectory that he maintains.

Rogue is. Well. It's a God. One of the gods in its world (ive turned @a-rogue-god into the main lore/story blog if you're interested) unlike its siblings who have abandoned humanity, Rogue keeps an eye on them. Rogue comes off as scary but really it's just a jokester shithead. (That isn't to say rogue is never scary. If you try hurting Gabriel, Rogue Will make you experience Some Nightmares) believing in the rogue is kinda like a death sentence in Gabriel's world, but Gabriel gets a pass by and large simply because he's such a beloved nice figure

Victor is. Um. Something.! They will sum up what they are as a vampire. They're not though. Their species do eat people, and I mean that literally. Victor just has a code where they eat the worst of humanity lol. You're an asshole? Well lol. You're their snack now! They're flirty and love interacting with people

Romeo is my oldest oc I currently have any semblance of thoughts about. Idk what to do with him though! He's had a lot of story changes and whatnot. He loves writing poetry?? He loves flirting with women?? He's. Um. He's there certainly.

MICHAEL!!! MICHAEL MICHAEL M-

Yay michael he's like. My favorite oc of all time I used to talk about him A LOT... all the time. He's an oc of the archangel michael. Um. He's very nice and very lovely. Kind of sad. Tired. Loves being on Earth and pretending to be a human. Um. Very comforting presence to be around. Come to him sad? Oh you bet your ass he's giving you the best hug in your LIFE!!!

Mariel.... mariel is an interesting uh. Angel. It's kind of insane! Silly thing loves being taller than everyone else in the room! Will ramble on and on about some random object and how cool it is. Mariel is actually a cherub who somehow lost its mind so it tends to not be allowed around other cherubs and sticks to earth or other lower angels. Gaining Mariels trust is suuuper easy which is beneficial if you want to use it to get whatever you want :) it is quite quite naive.

Mariel's true form holding Michael ^

I have a couple others but I don't like. My brain isn't as huge about them as these ones. But here's a bunch that I enjoy and like sharing info about ^^

[lady-of-endless]

Another JJBA matchup trade for the lovely @tubbypeddle 🌹

Author's Note: I'm so glad you came up with the idea for another trade. Honestly, I was secretly craving another one with you so thank you. I'm happy that we also got to talk more. Your amazing and I really hope you'll enjoy it!

From part 3, I ship you with...

Kakyoin Noriaki

(obviously)

- It's canon that he doesn't like loneliness and is in search of friendships more than anything. The fact that you are friendly and care so much for your dear ones makes him feel honored above all. Plus, the most beneficial context for the start of your relationship is with you two being friends. (100% Friends to Lovers trope)

- The second obvious thing to mention is that this man would be so very whipped, absolutely smitten with you. He's dumbfounded by how someone actually likes to hear him talk about his interests and how many of those are common. This makes both of you feel very familiar with each other and so, more comfortable to open up to.

- Go ahead and infodump him, he loves it! And he does the same in return. You're so fascinating and so fun. Kakyoin loves learning new things, especially from you.

- His favorite move? He notices what book you're reading, secretly reads it as well, and then casually starts a conversation about it with you.

- If you enjoy home dates, he's all for it, especially if you play some video games together. Kakyoin is always going to lose track of time with you.

- Your physical way of expressing your affection is something he never knew he craved. It's nice, it's different than how he does it because he goes for quality time when it comes to love language. And gifts. He likes to paint or sketch you something and leave his art and a note behind for you. Let's not forget about a box of cherries from him, expect those often. Coming back to your love language, he will be so bewitched if you come up with the idea to help him with his hairstyle. You're going to make his day and also, because he's cunning, he'll purposely mess his hair a bit so you can help him again. That's his way of stealing you for a while. (And to play with his hair, it feels like heaven to him.)

- He notices how you like to mess around wearing his uniform jacket and so he even lets you wear his cherry earrings. That's a very meaningful gesture, it's the equivalent of letting you know how much you mean to him. It's such a big thing that the other crusaders are shocked by it.

- Your outfits leave him speechless every time. He can't even decide on his favorite one. You like to experiment with styles, he likes to experiment with accessories. If you combine those forces, you'd be that couple that always dresses cool af.

- He loves your tattoo, of course, and loves tracing it with his fingertips as you cuddle together. It's tempting him to get a meaningful tattoo as well. He'll ask you for your opinions on his ideas and will be very grateful if you want to go with him to get it done.

- Your protective side makes him feel so safe. It's something that made him trust you easily, something that he doesn't usually do.

From part 6, I ship you with...

Weather Report

(another obvious one)

- He likes that you're shy but cordial in the beginning when you two meet. It's calming. Most people around him seem to be all over the place in the beginning, not that he minds that kind of personality, but with you, he feels more at ease. He feels like he doesn't have to be so tense around you so it's a wonderful starting point.

- It might not be a typical story where you two just know each other for a long time as friends and finally get to romance. Not with Weather because of the context. And also because he has the habit of being attracted to someone fast even if he doesn't show it. For him, contrary to popular belief, it would be something random, a spark, a light that catches his attention.

- However, even with that initial spark, things will go slow with him from that point on. Attraction is not enough when it comes to something as serious as romance. Expect a slow burn that's all worth it in the end. You both need your time to open up to each other and that's a good thing because that's how you'll build a strong connection.

- Because you were shy and a bit distant at first when you start opening up and talking more, he will listen to everything, leaning closer how he always does. Also, he's generally curious so please share your interests, likes, and dislikes with him. Weather falls for your kindness and pure, big heart.

- He's your rock, your anchor when you feel stressed and overwhelmed. Weather knows how much you like to cuddle so he will indulge in it so you can feel better. He has no idea how good he is at cuddling. It's his thing to play with your hair while holding you against his chest.

- Once you put your trust in him, expect him to protect that trust and try to never make you doubt your decision. Weather is observant so expect him to pay attention to your reactions and try to understand what you're thinking about, if he did something good or if he disappointed you.

- He's overthinking often and the best treatment for that is to come to you. Again, he finds your presence calming and it seems that you always know how to take his mind off things. He thinks that's your superpower (among the other traits you mentioned).

- His favorite thing to do? To control and move a little bit of sunshine over your eyes to see those hazel irises of yours change color when lit up. It's so subtle that you won't even tell but what gives it away is the way he becomes less expressionless when looking at your eyes.

- Your love for people in general is something he admires because of its purity and worries him. It's mostly admiration but don't blame him if he's a bit more tense when other people notice this trait and are a little suspicious.

- Your love language makes him feel warm. My theory is that Weather likes to lean in closer when someone's talking is because he's touch-starved. With this being said, go ahead and shower him with affection even if he won't ask for it.

Runner-ups:

- Avdol: I feel like you two would look out for each other and get along so lovely. He's also happy to learn and to know more so he'll love listening to you once you open up. You two have similar ways of handling conflict so you'd also make a great team.

- Polnareff - come on, you're sweet as honey, of course, he's going to be head over heels, daydreaming about living a peaceful life with you.

[anipgarden]

Tips on talking to HOAs about installing gardens in the shared spaces? I live in a condo, but the parking lot is /barren/

I'm sorry for how late this is! (This was sent in November for everyone's context), I simply had no idea how to answer it!

Though I live in an HOA neighborhood, I've never really been in a position where I had to talk to them about anything. However, a book I checked out from the library awhile back (Hellstrip Gardening by Evelyn J. Hadden, which I really need to take back soon) mentions a couple of tip in regards to talking to HOAs about gardening in the front yard. Hopefully it helps!

Come with an idea in mind! Being able to present a drawing or a description of what you'd like to do in the area will be a lot more helpful than 'I want to do A Thing', and may be enough to get permission! In other cases, you may need a formal presentation, but even then having an idea of what you'd like to plant and why and the benefits to the community will be helpful for building said presentation!

HOA's suck, I'll be the first to agree. But if you wanna get permission for a cool parking lot garden, you've gotta go over there ready and willing to compromise and talk nice. Maybe come up with a few alternative options--for example, if you want to dig in the ground but they don't want a permanent fixture, be open to raised beds instead. But that doesn't mean let them walk all over you! Be confident, and bring facts to back you up. And know what rights the HOA does or doesn't have in your city or state.

Try presenting the idea to some neighbors and get them to back you! The more people you can get behind the idea, the less likely a 'oh but what if the neighbors don't like the aesthetic what if they complain' concern will actually stick.

Focus moreso on practical benefits than emotional arguments when it comes to the HOA. Bring up things like reducing runoff, erosion control, less water usage, little to no mowing or blowing--anything that can add a dollar figure to how beneficial it is will likely tilt people towards your side if you're convincing enough, especially if you can show that the cost of planting and maintaining your parking lot garden idea long term will be negligible to or even cheaper than maintaining whatever's going on there now--if they're constantly planting sod there only for it to wither away, that could be a good starting point.

Visuals!! Again!! This comes from the book, but also from me convincing my mom to let me plant by the front yard mailbox--me rattling off names of plants and all is way less effective than me texting her pictures and descriptions of how tall they get. If you can get a general idea of what you'd like to plant and where, gather up a bunch of pictures of your ideal plants and maybe draw a quick mock-up of your design. If there's other places in your town that have similar gardens--someone's front yard, or a park, or anything of the sort--provide addresses so the HOA board members can drop by and see what it looks like in action, and further cement the idea that it has been done before and done well. Consider the aesthetic appeal of it all!

Get ahead of any questions or concerns that you think the board may have. This idea you have is for a parking lot garden--they might have concerns about cars and pedestrians existing around the space. Is there risk of plants damaging the cars? Being a trip hazard for people getting in and out of their cars, or existing around the space? Are the plants you have in mind known to cause allergies, are they toxic to kids and pets that may be around the area at times?

Maybe include like a stone bench or something, depending on how big the spot is. If the HOA can make the presence of the garden a fixture, make it look like a plus to moving into the condos, they'll love it all the more! 'Look at this lovely garden break spot you can chill in oooo!'

Do you have a plan in mind if the garden gets damaged--whether its a car driving over the curb, or someone intentionally messing with the plants? What is it? What do you think the potential cost of it would be? This may be something they'd ask.

That's everything I've got, between the book and my personal thoughts. If any of my followers have dealt with an HOA and have feedback or other comments to provide, by all means chime in!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #120

I did so much stuff today!!!!

…Okay, well actually I did only like 3 things today. But these things were very BIG things! I will talk about two of them, and then touch vaguely upon the third!

I will start with this morning! Because J and I went up in the sky in the little airplane today! We went to an airport that had a diner! I got an EPIC BREAKFAST!!! There was steak and eggs and cheddar grits, and I also got a coffee, because I don't get coffee very often, so why not! I took some pictures for you…

This is what J got! It's some kind of breakfast bowl with salsa, avocados, beans, and scrambled eggs! There's also potatoes and bacon under the eggs! I wonder if you'd enjoy something like this. He let me have a few bites; it was really good!

Here is the coffee I got! And, of course I snapped the picture of it while the cream was still swirling around; it's more interesting that way:

Here are some cheddar grits:

Here's the steak and eggs I got; it came with caramelized onions, cornbread and butter, eggs with runny yolks, and a bit of hollandaise sauce! It also came with ketchup for some reason. But I only like it on burgers, so I didn't use it.

I asked for the steak to be as rare as allowed, and I was SUPER THRILLED about the fact that they prepared it in basically the same way I do at home - brown the outside, and leave the inside mostly raw:

It was so good!!! Oh my goodness!

While at the place, I also happened upon a little space with dandelions! I'm not really sure why, but people in my world seem to really hate dandelions. It makes absolutely no sense to me, because in addition to being extremely beneficial to nearby soil for a variety of reasons, every part of the plant is edible and nutritious. One of my favorite things to do, when I can find a safe source of them, is to turn the blooms into a sweet syrup that you can use on pancakes, on ice cream, or in tea! Maybe I'll get to do that this year. For now, I'll just show you the picture I took:

Isn't it pretty? I like them!

I also took a bunch of photos along the way from the airplane window! I'll show you the best ones!

…Hey, Sephiroth? I know you can fly and stuff, and that's pretty cool. But while you're up in the sky, dancing in the clouds, do you make it a point to notice and appreciate all the lovely scenery? If you don't, then maybe you can try it next time; practicing gratitude and appreciation is one of the best ways to exercise your hippocampus until it becomes strong!

On the way home, I saw 9 great big huge birds-of-prey; I think these ones were turkey vultures. I managed to actually catch a picture of one in flight for you! Here, it's not very big in the photo, but check out the back speck in the sky:

Oh!!! Also!!! I finally got around to making the stuffed cabbage casserole today! This recipe was given to me by an awesome person called @freelanceexorcist (thanks be to ye, fren!! 💖)! I ended up modifying it a bit, just to suit the needs of those in my house; Br cannot have gluten, so I used tomato puree in place of tomato soup, and J does not like big cabbage leaves, so I cut it into little slices, and bite-sized bits are easier for M to handle than meatballs, so I kinda just... shredded everything and mixed it all together. But I used mostly the same ingredients, even if the preparation differed just a little! I'll show you what I did…

You start with cabbage!

Here's how it looks on the inside when you cut it in half!! It's pretty cool!

...It's like Brussels sprouts, but WAY bigger!

The recipe calls for whole leaves, but I cut it into shreddy bits, like this:

The cabbage was sauteed in my bacon fat confit garlic:

I poured in a can of tomato puree from there, and I let it simmer on low heat for a couple of hours:

While that was happening, I cut up 2 pounds of kielbasa, and 2 onions:

Once the cabbage was done and set aside, I caramelized the onions in more bacon fat:

I added the onions to the cabbage, and then I put a big can of diced tomatoes, a pound of Bavarian sauerkraut, and the ground meat I cooked the other day into the wok, along with a cup of rice and a can full of some beef bone broth:

I let this sit on very low heat until the rice was done cooking. I used short grain rice; it looks like this:

...In between the long bits of cooking when there was nothing else I could do, I worked on something else that I'm absolutely not going to tell anyone about! It was good!

Once the cabbage and the rice were all done, I combined the two sets of things; this took some doing simply because there was SO MUCH FOOD, oh my goodness!! But this was the result!

So... it's cabbage, caramelized onions, sauerkraut, canned tomatoes, tomato puree, beef bone broth, rice, garlic, kielbasa, ground pork, and ground beef, all cooked up nicely and mixed together in a great big awesome dish!! And it is indeed awesome!! It was said that the leftovers are even better, because the flavors are given a chance to mingle; I can't wait to find out tomorrow!

...I wish you could have been here for all of this. I wish you could be here, generally. My house does occasionally have its challenges, for sure, but still, it is happy, wholesome, and safe. There's lots of fun and interesting stuff to do. My house is a good house. You could find healing and belonging here. You could find growth and change here. And you'd fit right in. You'd fit right in with my social circle, generally; ain't a single one of us fit the definition of "normal".

Sephiroth, c'mon. The darkness doesn't suit you. It never did. And it never will. So step away from people who wanna use and abuse you, and instead step towards the people who wanna help you to feel as though you're enough exactly as you are, without needing to do something useful or amazing first.

I'll be here waiting, so... as impossible as it is, pop by for a visit soon, okay? We'll make you good snacks - all the pasta you could want, or whatever else suits your fancy - whatever you like; if I don't know how to cook it, I can figure it out, easy peasy.

I'm gonna go do other things now, and I'm going to wish you were here as I do them. I love you, and I'll write again tomorrow. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[athenaholmesartistsguild]

I'm actually posting art again!!!

Here's my Page of Pentacles tarot card that I've been working on for the past few days. I really like how it turned out!!!!

I wasn't all that in love with the border that I had for my other tarot cards. I thought it was a little boring and didn't really go with the ~Yakuza aesthetic~ so I tried something a little different and I think it came out really cool!

So let's talk tarot meanings! All of this will be under the cut since it's a little long

The Page of Pentacles (or yen in this case) typically represents having luck in the material world whether that be with your finances, a new business opportunity, or just all-around being able to live comfortably and be provided for.

The Page has the energy and drive to do all of the hard parts of being successful; after all, achieving any major goal isn't going to be fun all the time. There are times where you're doing something that's tedious, or difficult, even just new and kinda scary. The Page of Pentacles is a reminder that you have the willpower within you to prevail as long as you stick to your plan and go forth with confidence and focus.

Overall, the Page of Pentacles is a card of new beginnings. If you're wondering whether or not now is the time to start that project or make that big decision, this card suggests that now is the time to do it! Make those plans and implement them!

Reversed, the Page of Pentacles appears to lose their sharp focus. Perhaps they haven't put a detailed enough plan in place to achieve their goals, or maybe they've lost sight of the reason they're even working towards their goals in the first place. Now might be the time to take a step back and reevaluate what you want and why. Maybe you've been working too hard and a break would help sharpen your focus?

Unlike other cards in the tarot which indicate outside forces are to blame for your setbacks, the Page of Pentacles reversed suggests that there's something internal-- something within yourself-- that's making it difficult to achieve your goals. Looking at the other cards in your reading may be beneficial in figuring out what, specifically is making progress difficult.

I chose Kiryu in Yakuza 0 because the Page as a tarot card represents someone who's young and is still in the process of learning their suit's gifts. Pages are students and as such, they're still at the very beginning of their journey. While they're full of excitement and drive to succeed, their actions may be clumsy or poorly thought through; they might not necessarily have the wisdom of the older cards in the suit.

I thought this fit Kiryu really well because he just sort of falls into running a real estate business and has to be taught by the people around him to make it successful. He's not very refined due to his personality and also his inexperience, but he still pursues it with that trademark Kiryu zeal.

I chose to depict the moment when he's defeating the different billionaires because that's really when he's embodying being 'wealthy'. There's so much money in the air that he can snatch a huge handful from the sky and fan himself with it. It's such a campish example of opulence.

But I think Kiryu in Yakuza 0 can also embody the reversed aspects of the Page of Pentacles as well. He's sort of bouncing around. He starts as yakuza, decides to be a civilian, then he bounces back to being yakuza. It seems like he doesn't really know what direction he wants to take or what opportunities are really available to him and because of that, his obscene wealth doesn't last.

[awaytobeunshaken]

Angstpril 2023 - Day 14: Cruelty

“You don’t have to do all the exercises or anything,” Orym continues as they share breakfast before breaking camp, “but the meditation might be beneficial. There’s something about a nice cliffside breeze…”

“That reminds you how close the edge and how far away the ground are?” Ashton finishes.

“I’m not trying to put you on a skysail or anything. Just thought it might be nice to feel the air before we move out for the day.”

“I’m not like you, man,” Ashton tries to explain. “This head doesn’t clear. Apart from when we’re in a fight and I’m running off pure emotion.”

“Yeah, that’s fine, I—” Orym pauses, swallows. “That’s cool.”

But there was that hesitation, the downcast look in his eyes, the desire to press the issue, that told Ashton it wasn’t cool, or fine, that Orym was humoring them, trying to spare their feelings, but clearly thought Ashton was in the wrong. “What’s your deal? Why does your shit have to be everyone’s shit?”

“Ash, I wasn’t—”

“No, just quit the act. I get it. You’re not really interested in me, just in who you wish you could make me. Did you ever really want me? Or did you just want someone you could fix? Because I see you trying to do that to everyone else. ‘Fearne, let’s do something about your little kleptomania problem’, ‘Imogen, you need to have more faith in yourself’, ‘Chetney, have you tried not being such an ancient fuck?’

Ashton sees the gnome turn toward them as he raises his voice. Orym clearly noticed it as well. “I never said that.”

“Fine,” Ashton growls. “I made that one up.” He turns to Orym. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a fucking busybody!”

ao3

Orym avoids them for most of the day’s journey; the others pretty much do so as well, after hearing the morning’s outburst. That suits him fine. Better they just think he’s an asshole than for anyone to try to talk to him about the whole incident. Too many people in Ashton’s life have wanted to change them. Starting with their folks, assuming that whole thing had been intentional. The matrons at the orphanage, trying to churn out good citizens, whatever the fuck that meant. Hexum and her fucking creepy-ass smile and ‘good boy’, like he had any interest in pleasing her beyond what it took to make her leave him alone.

And now Orym, wanting them to try meditating, like that was gonna fix whatever was wrong with their brain.

So when they make camp for the evening, Ashton does his part for the setup, takes his share of dinner, and makes himself scarce at the edge of the clearing to start eating. Orym at least has the manners to wait until they set the bowl down to approach; but Ashton still moves to get up as he does so.

“Ash, please.” And Ashton wants to interpret that as yet another thing that Orym has tried to push on them, but whether it’s the sound of the nickname or the fact that it was Orym that gave it to them, they actually don’t mind being called it. Ashton stays seated, but looks away as Orym sits beside them. “I need to talk to you. And you don’t need to answer me, or even accept what I’m saying, but you're going to listen.”

Ashton gives a slight nod, never having been on the wrong side of one of Orym’s more forceful moods before.

“I would never try to push you into anything you didn’t want to do. If that’s what you thought I was doing this morning, I’m sorry. I was inviting you to share in something I loved. I dropped the subject when it was clear you weren’t interested. And if I seemed disappointed, it was because… well… I was. I want to share everything with you, Ash. Everything I can. But I’m sorry if it came off like I was judging you, or pressuring you. If there’s a better way I can—”

“Fucking stop talking.” Ashton wants to dismiss the apology as being too perfect. Prepared, rehearsed, carefully crafted to say all the right things. But they’ve never known Orym to be anything but genuine. And they reach out to grab Orym by the arm as he stands and begins to move away. “I didn’t mean like that. You shouldn’t apologize, I should. I’m sorry I’m fucking like this.”

“Ash, don’t.”

And the tenderness and the caring in those words hurt somehow, like they always do coming from Orym, but it’s a good pain, like a really intense massage or pulling off a scab to reveal the new skin underneath. “Fine. But I am like this, and I shouldn’t project my bullshit onto you. I wish I knew how not to.”

“I guess it just takes practice. Like anything. Like this.” And he twists his arm free of Ashton’s grasp so they can lace their fingers together, then lays his other hand along Ashton’s jaw and kisses him.

[silver-tangent]

So I'm not really confident enough to try to do this in my first publication, but I've actually run into a grammatical issue that I, as a literary nerd, have become obsessed with actually wanting to talk to people about...

The problem is that most people are not literary nerds, and will probably feel like they're back in English class and just generally not be interested in trying to learn it... and that transphobic/enbyphobic people will be obnoxiously oppositional about it...

What I'm talking about is the singular They... which I have problems with, but not the same problems as transphobic people. My problem with it is that in written and spoken language... it gets all tied up.

NOT CONFUSING! NOT INVALID... just generally one can get tongue tied with the pluralisms of adverbs around "they/them."

In spoken language, we're used to singular adverbs like "Is" and "Was," so if we start a sentence like "How is [person] doing?" Even if we are very good about calling someone "They/them" our brain doesn't take that turn right away... so we will awkwardly go "How is... uhh..."

In a written context, and almost exclusively in a written context, it can get confusing. On paper, the reader won't know if you're referring to the non-gendered individual or the group of characters in a scene. The writer will feel obligated to using a proper noun.

There was a solution to this proposed as far back as 1890 by James Rogers... Shorthand "They" into "E." And then later it was proposed by other people over the last 100 years, eventually evolving into the proposed "Ey/Em/Eir" in 1975 (attributed to Christine M. Elverson) which traditionally is read as "A" but I personally feel it could be pronounced "E" or "A" the same way we pronounce "The" two different ways.

Of course you can circumvent all of this by just using proper nouns (or names) every time you're referring to a non-gendered or gender-obscured character, but I've found that the overuse of a character or person's proper noun can start to feel awkward as well.

Which is why as a writer... I find the use of "Ey/em" fascinating as fuck!

And not exclusively for non-binary characters.

Sometimes in literature we don't want to gender a character until we reveal who they are in the second or third act. In real life, sometimes we don't know the gender of the person we're talking about.

Sometimes in both fiction and real life we encounter gender-non-conforming non-humans. "It" also works in that case, but if I could just make the history lesson of "Ey" interesting enough to get readers to try it out... Like seriously, we already do it on accident with a slurred and awkward "How is ey doing."

And I think it's neat, I think if I could get past the opposition towards learning new rules people would be able to pick it up pretty quickly...

I'm specifically talking about "Ey/em" in this post, but seriously I think neopronouns as a linguistic concept are cool as fuck and I sincerely want to get the English-speaking world more receptive to them by using them in literature in a way that's engaging, interesting, and helps readers get a feel for how natural it starts to sound after only a couple of paragraphs.

Yes, I'm non-binary, and yes that is probably the largest most universal reason why it would be beneficial to get people more receptive towards neopronouns, but as a literary nerd I also think the concept is just cool as hell, and I wish I could convince others that it's cool as hell!